HOW TO TELL OFF YOUR NOSY AUNTI

HOW TO TELL OFF YOUR NOSY AUNTIE

It's Saturday night and instead of hitting the hot club scene, you are forced by your parents to attend the graduation party of some geek named Raju. As complete agony and boredom encompass you, the make-shift bar seems like the only coping mechanism available. As loud Indian music pounds away, you quietly guzzle glasses of cheap Turning Leaf boxed wine.

At that moment, in your peripheral vision you notice three layers of belly rolls spilling out of a sari heading your way. THE NOSY AUNTIE.

She is a gossip driven lady who thrives off of personal information about YOUR life. We, at BadIndianGirl.com feel your pain!

Try these responses next time you encounter the Nosy Auntie.

GOOD LUCK!

"Beta, vhen I was 23 I had completed my family. Vhen are you going to get married?"

Home

NOSY AUNTIE: "Oh Beta, looks like you've lost wieght"
YOU: "Thanks Auntie and it looks like it found you!"

NOSY AUNTIE: "So vhen are you planning on getting married?"
YOU: "Well Auntie, currently, I'm enjoying an active sex life with multiple partners. Perhaps when I am ready to submit to boring intercourse and sagging titties, I’ll bring a husband in"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Beta, you've gain veight"
YOU: "Thanks Auntie! Now we can share clothes!"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Beta, how is married life?"
YOU: Well Auntie, I tell ya, it's tough trying to juggle between my husband and my big African American boyfriend Tyrone but I'm managing"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Beta did you know Raju (my son) just graduated from Medical College?"
YOU: "Oh that's swell Auntie. It was pretty apparent that Raju was headed towards a life of total isolation, body odor, spelling bees and complete dork-dom at the age of 10"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Oh Beta, vhy don't you ever come over?"
YOU: "And subject myself to your tacky pastel furniture, perverted husband, oily food, and fake conversation? No thanks, I rather drink acid instead"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Beta, I heard you got a job. How much money do you make? YOU: "Well Auntie Ji it's enough to pay off my frequent trips to Vegas, clubbing and support my after work bar binges"

NOSY AUNTIE: "Beta, did you know that Payal had another baby? Vhen are you going to have kids?"

You: "Oh that's great Auntie! It seems Payal's "Jr. Auntie In Training" courses she took at age 12 at the local temple really paid off! As for me Auntie, I'm sure one of these days my drunken nights of booze & partying will pay off with the conception of a little one"

(This scenario has to do with a recent vacation you have taken to the Bahamas)

NOSY AUNTIE: Huy Raba! You are sooooo dark! Vhy don’t you use Rose water and milk to make your skin fair?

YOU: Oh Auntie, this is called a tan. Its supposed to improve your appearance. Speaking of improving appearances auntie, why don't you use that same miracle tonic and lighten them raccoon eyes!

Have a Nosy Auntie Story to Share?
We want to hear about it!