Are you a Bad Indian Mother?


You could have been a good Indian girl or a bad Indian girl all your life, but you’re now a Bad Indian Mother if: 

1) You have your first child after the age of 30. You have had countless lectures and statistics from people advising you to have children before “it’s too late.” You would have loved to have had a baby at 24, but guess what, you were single.

2) After giving birth to your child, you refuse to consume the “witch’s brews” and “snake oils” provided by aunties and mothers who swear it well help you lactate, help your child sleep through the night, and make your belly flat.

3) You break centuries old naming traditions to give your child a unique, but pronounceable middle name.

4) Your husband is EXPECTED to be in the delivery room and should not get extra points for showing up at your prenatal visits.

5) You encourage your husband to partake in the care/feeding and the raising of the child.

6) You jump back into your career within the first year.

7) You drop the child at a.. gasp.. American daycare center with safety regulations, rather than the desi nanny with a questionable visa status or SAHG (Stay At Home Grandparents).

8) When you come home from work, your child does not have the full meal with homemade chappati, dal, vegetables that your mom made. Your child has a microwave meal of organic macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and broccoli with salt.

9) Your child will take ballet/jazz, join scout troupe and go to American summer camp, just like you wanted to but were told you didn’t need that.

10) You buy real Halloween costumes for your child and do not force her to be "Indian Girl" in a sari.

11) You do not keep your child indoors on sunny summer days lest your child become “dark.”

12) You and your husband go on vacations, restaurants and weddings without toting your child along. And, actually have fun!

13) Your child has a bigger American accent than you do when speaking your 'mother's tongue'.

14) You offer your child a chance to choose his or her own career, rather than choose from Column A (Doctor), Column B (Engineer), or Column C (Lawyer).

15)  your child chooses a career or a significant other not of your choosing, you will not feign suicide or tell them they will suffer in two more lifetimes for this injustice.

16) "Save face" doesn't come up in your daily discussions with your child.

17) You talk about "dirty" things like sex and menstruation with your child so they will not need to learn about it from Judy Blume books or the internet.