I find your site to be in bad taste. I am an Indian women with a very supportive family. I have dated men from different backgrounds (my parent's were aware of all my boyfriends) but found the love of my life (who happens to be an Indian man). I was married at 25 and we have two wonderful childeren together. According to your site, my situation is what your site is mocking. Why not put together a site that embraces Indian Women and the Indian Culture?
Mini
Hi,
I guess it is okay if this site just pokes fun at those that think mixing western values with Indian upbringing is considered wrong. BTW, I believe the Indian community will not appreciate these jokes and only people who are westernized will appreciate them. I found the jokes funny but the Indian communities in general are more sensitive and feel hurt seeing these types of jokes. I believe there is a fundamental lack of understanding by the people of Indian origin in the west and the older (even some young people also) Indian people. It is better to educate them by challenging their intellect and reasoning. The biggest NOs in the Indian society are:
1. Making sex related jokes about elders. THIS IS A BIG NO. Even if the elderly person happens to be a pervert, you are not supposed to make jokes about them.
2. Taking about women or men's sexuality is also a big NO. We don't even talk about such issues even with our friends.
3. SEX in general is a topic only discussed in some sex magazines and nowhere else. I understand it is a bit hypocriticle issue even though Hindi movies are pretty imaginative in making the people horny as hell without showing the actual act. These movies also indirectly or directly encourage perversion.
There are more fundamental issues. Please use your knowledge in a positive manner engaging in a dialog with the others so that they will understand you better. Unfortunately I see you sticking your position saying we are right and your people are prudish. The Indian older community thinks that you people are aping the west without any own cultural identity. They even add more to it saying these people are slaves to the western societies just because they got more money, they have no inner valves and their values are superficial. I believe you need to be more creative in making the people understand you and your values better. This will also help India immensely in understanding the west.
MY RESPONSE (In Yellow Text):
Hello (name omited)
You sound like an intelligent, educated, well-intentioned young man. With all due respect, however, I have some opinions about your opinions. I will pick them apart one by one and respond to them:
I guess it is okay if this site just pokes fun at those that think mixing western values with Indian upbringing is considered wrong. BTW, I believe the Indian community will not appreciate these jokes and only people who are westernized will appreciate them. Well, that's kind of the target audience, right (the westernized ones)? This site wasn't meant to desecrate the family crest of any proud Indians. It's a forum designed to unite and offer a sense of community and mutual support to those of us in this awkward position. I found the jokes funny but the Indian communities in general are more sensitive and feel hurt seeing these types of jokes. Again, it's meant to inject wit and humor into our situation. It's not like our parents will take us seriously and actually listen and try to understand, so this is just a logical alternative outlet. If the Indian communities in general are so sensitive and would get their feelings so hurt... then why can't they see our pain (by "our, I mean those of us that are made to feel like worthless failures because we don't live up to their archaic expectations). I believe there is a fundamental lack of understanding by the people of Indian origin in the west and the older (even some young people also) Indian people. That would be a big "DUH"... It is better to educate them by challenging their intellect and reasoning. " That's just it. You can't "challenge their intellect and reasoning." Theirs is backed up by centuries of cultural doctrine that they cannot see past. They don't believe in self-determination. And all the Nosy Aunties I know sure as hell won't have their "intellect and reasoning" questioned! The biggest NOs in the Indian society are.. 1. Making sex related jokes about elders. THIS IS A BIG NO. Even if the elderly person happens to be a pervert, you are not supposed to make jokes about them. With all due respect, you are proselytizing, and sounding exactly like those whose values against which we are defending ourselves - the expectation that we are to conduct ourselves and our own lives by the rigid doctrines established by those that live in an entirely different society and an entirely different generation. Being elderly does not exonerate one from being called a pervert. You're suggesting that with age comes impunity. And I wholeheartedly disagree with that. We are all responsible for owning up to our actions. And again, with all due respect, I don't need you or anyone else telling me that I'm "not supposed to" make jokes about anyone or exercise my freedom of speech in any way. We are human being with thoughts, emotions, and opinions, not mindless automatons with a collective consciousness! 2. Taking about women or men's sexuality is also a big NO. We don't even talk about such issues even with our friends. Your choice... not ours. There are more fundamental issues. Please use your knowledge in a positive manner engaging in a dialog with the others so that they will understand you better. Well, that would make us proselytizing missionaries now wouldn't it? It is not our intentions to push our views on others. Our only intention is to raise awareness of our situation and stand strong in the face of this cultural oppression. Unfortunately I see you sticking your position saying we are right and your people are prudish. More untrue words have never been uttered or written. It is them (the older generation) that is doing exactly what you purport we are doing. Except instead of calling us prudes, they are calling us sluts, failures, BAD INDIAN GIRLS, etc., for not living up to THEIR expectations and beliefs that they so willfully impose on us. The Indian older community thinks that you people are aping the west without any own cultural identity. They even add more to it saying these people are slaves to the western societies just because they got more money, they have no inner valves and their values are superficial. I've got a very simple solution for these people you describe: GO BACK TO YOUR THIRD WORLD COUNTRY, where those values are more prevalent and indoctrinated. We are born, raised, and currently live in a country where we are allowed think and express freely. And I'll be damned if I left anyone make me feel guilty about that! I believe you need to be more creative in making the people understand you and your values better. More creative? Jeez, I think this site is pretty creative just as it is. If you'll notice, rather than ranting angrily about our oppressors (yes, a little dramatic, but honestly, that's what it feels like), we choose to inject humor and wit into the situation. It's the plain absurdity of the humor and jokes that underscores our point... don't you get it? This will also help India immensely in understanding the west. You are a very naive young man. India understand the west. They just don't agree with us, and don't understand the concept of "live and let live"
werd.
