WARNING: New Disease Alert

Associated Press

Monday  August 23, 2004

THE UNIVERSE - The Center for Disease Control is issuing a warning to all Indian Girls about a disease that attacks the Central Nervous System: Spinal Cord Degeneration.  This disease is commonly noted in Indian Women between the ages of (18 – 25) who experiment with the idea of being independent (dating, going away to college, drinking, starting her own checking account). When overbearing parents, relatives and or husband learn about this behavior, severe amount of guilt and fear is injected directly attacking the spinal cord tissue. The symptoms are mild in the beginning yet within weeks of being infected, the Indian girl will notice her spine starting to collapse.  In some extreme cases, there is usually no cure.  Some of the symptoms that have been noted are :

• Complete disintegration of the Spine often turning the infected Indian Girl into a passive woman with robotic abilities to cook, clean and care for the children.

• An attack on the Cerebrum of the brain resulting in a lack of personal opinions and emotions  

• An attack on the Frontal Lobe of the brain resulting in the inability to have normal, intelligent conversations unless they circle around Bollywood, the latest Sari styles and or recipe exchange for Chicken Tika Masala

• A heightened state of  "Aunti-itis" and a pronounced inability to focus on anything else other than serving  Chai or Ladoos to her husband and or overbearing parents/relatives

If you know of any Indian Girl that could potentially be in the beginning stages of this disease, please refer her to BadIndianGirl.com. Repairing damaged spinal tissue will take time, but a cure will last her a lifetime.